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After yet another abysmal season, the Wests Tigers board have decided to take the team in a new direction so crazy that it might just work.
With only 4 wins this season and no sign of improvement, the Tigers have decided to field 13 Balmain mums that live next door to people that like to have parties.
“We really think they will bring an energy that’s un-matched, you won’t find anyone more pumped up and ready to go into battle than a Balmain mum that’s heard that there’s a party next door.” said one Tigers board member.
“It’s an amazing idea, these women really have a point to prove and we hope they can take the Tigers into a successful future”. Another member, from the Balmain said of the merger, said.
Patricia McKenzie-Cheshire (49), new half-back for the team, says she’s up for a new challenge now that most of the kids have moved out.
“Yeah, bring it on, I had some training yesterday night, this group of kids were having a 21st birthday on a Friday night with music blasting past 10pm, I had to go over there and tell them I was calling the police, which I did”.
“I really just hope I can take that energy from the neighbors house and onto the pitch”. Patricia said during a practice session with some of the girls.
New winger, Julia Eames (61) who is well known in her area for calling the police on people that drink at her local park says she’ll be able to run the pitch like she can run to a police officer when she sees someone in her area having a good time.
“You should have seen me last week, I saw about 7 kids drinking in a park, I was at the police station in no less than 5 minutes”.
Critics say that fielding middle aged women against male footballers in their athletic prime is a risky move but the club remains confident.
“We literally have nothing to lose” said one of the coaches, or ex coaches, our newspaper can’t keep up.
“If anything it will at least get our fans to continue watching this team… And stay true to our blue collar Balmain roots… haha”