ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

“Pathetic,” laughed Daniel Pooley.

An average Thursday has turned into one to remember from the 27-year-old office person as the English cricket team collapsed to a near-record low innings at Eden Park this afternoon.

Rather than let the opportunity pass, Pooley told The Advocate that he’s tagged nearly every English person on his Facebook friends list in articles regarding the events in New Zealand.

“If there’s one thing that can unite the world, it’s the collective love of bad things happening to English sporting teams,” he said.

“Seeing Stuart Broad sad is like heroin to me. Seeing New Zealand win at something is being charged for a packet of tomato sauce, however. Mixed feelings but if it makes something much better, then fucking YOLO, I’ll be rich one day anyway.”

One of the token youth mobility visa English people that Daniel tagged was Stephen Watford – who used to work with Pooley in another office where they both did things with a computer.

Even though they both shop almost exclusively at Uniqlo South Betoota, wear customised elastic-sided  RM Williams boots, ride the bus to work and get half cut off the whiff of a James Squire craft beer, being born in different English speaking countries makes them as different as they can be as heterosexual white men.

And that difference is the heart of the banter the two had this afternoon via social media.

“Yeah, I got tagged by like four different Aussie mates about the cricket,” he said.

“And last week it was the rugby union. I’ll tell you what, you Aussies can laugh now, but you’ve got Ireland coming down under for your winter this year and they will whip those privately-educated gold boys into next year,”

“I’m not trying to change the subject, all I’m trying to do is outline that today you guys can take the piss out of your token English person in your life – but one day, it will be our turn.”

More to come.




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