In sports news, the brightest minds in the NRL have launched into grand final week with their usual verbal bashing of Polynesian players, as they try to smear one of the most successful teams in the history of the game.

Despite Western Sydney heavyweights the Penrith Panthers making it to their fourth grand final in as many years, the mensa minds on the panel at Fox League have decided it’s a great week to poke and prod at the Panthers, before their game this Sunday against the golden children of Queensland, the Brisbane Broncos.

It’s believed if the Panthers win on Sunday, it’ll create another tricky narrative for the script writers at Fox, who are already preparing to try and diminish the win by calling the Panthers ‘arrogant and disrespectful’.

But with the Panthers running hot as favourites on Sunday, Buzz Rothfield and his crew of Alan Jones wannabes have decide to take aim at any player that doesn’t bury their feelings and ambition behind a wall of Anglo-Saxon stoicism.

“I’m getting very concerned for the Panthers, I think they’re getting too big for their boots,” whimpered league vampire Buzz Rothfield, as he licked some red wine residue off his lips.

“I don’t think the likes of Jerome Luai have really proven themselves, they can go missing in the big games!”

Of course the narrative that players like Luai don’t have the ticker in big moments feels quite odd, considering that the NRL 360 panel has curiously also had a key player go missing all year, after allegedly you-know-what.

“Let’s not distract from the fact they’ve lost to the Broncos before…” added another porkchop from the Daily Telegraph, who has also not had the guts to mention the missing panelist all year.

“I want to see players like Luai really stand up and be counted and to stop hiding behind playmakers like Cleary.”

“It’s time to let actions do the talking, and stop being a distraction from the real issues within the team!”

More to come.


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