The NRL marketing machine has been hashing it out in a war room this week, as they attempt to spark some extra interest in this weekend’s grand final.

With competition heavyweights the Penrith Panthers needing to beat the Brisbane Broncos to win their 3rd straight Provan-Summons trophy, the NRL has the difficult challenge of trying to make the game more interesting to fans outside of Western Sydney and Brisbane.

After writing up a bunch of potential marketing angles onto some sticky notes on a whiteboard, it’s reported the NRL plan to go after the lucrative Queensland cougar market, by including as much footage of hunk-a-spunk Patty Carrigan into the pre-game hype as possible.

“What if we make it, ‘The Bold vs. The Beautiful?’” asked Brenton Brailey, a TV promotions specialist who has in the past penned pre-game scripts for the likes of Gus Gould.

“We can cut the footage up like The Bachelor, imagine Patty Carrigan jogging down South Bank beach completely shirtless with salt spray glistening on his cheeks and his hair sailing in the wind?”

“Then we’d cut to his opposite 13, Issah Yeo, maybe he’s bouncing a footy in a school quadrangle, wearing a whistle around his neck like a substitute P.E teacher?”

Hearing a collective murmuring of nods of approval, NRL marketing CEO Benji Sheens has signed off on the lucrative idea that’s set to land on TV screens this evening.

“Quick, call Kingswood High School and see if we can get a TV crew and Issaah there ASAP” ordered Sheens.

“And get me the number for South Bank life guards, I want footage of a shirtless Carrigan looking very community minded as he carries lifesaving flags down the beach asap!”

“Lets gets the cougars roaring!”


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