In a dramatic last resort, Tennis Australia has today confirmed that they have been forced to call on special help when it comes to mentoring wayward sports star Bernard Tomic.

A spokesperson from Tennis Australia says that after repeated failed attempts at bringing the 24-year-old into line, they have no other option than to enlist the services of the only man who has ever truly scared them.

Damir Dokic, ( Дамир Докић), the war veteran, father and former coach of Australian tennis player Jelena Dokić, received a phone call this morning asking him to come back to his naturalized home country of Australia.

Damir Dokic’s skill set when it comes coaching, mentoring and causing a ruckus at Wimbledon have made him a prime candidate for the task of bringing Bernard Tomic’s head back into the game, as Tennis Australia search desperately for ways to inspire and control the controversial Gold Coast boy.

This comes after Tomic’s most recent comments at Wimbledon, where he says he does not care what people think of him and that they can only dream of the riches he has accrued – even though he is bored of tennis.

Mr Dokic arrived at Coolangatta airport this morning, under a brief amnesty from his previous no-fly-list, after being arrested late last decade for threatening diplomats with explosives in Serbia.

Speaking to the media today, Dokic says God put him on this earth to do two things: Intimidate tennis administrators, and train bratty tennis players – and now that his daughter has retired, he would love to focus his craft on Tomic.

“I hate tennis administrators as much as I ever have, and so does Bernard apparently, so at least we have that in common” he says

“But players should always play to win. He will be sleeping outside if he does not win”

SEE ALSO: Local Tennis Prodigy Not Enough Of A Fuckwit To Represent Australia


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here