A local patron at the front bar of the Betoota Returned Serviceman’s League could lie down on the floor and be completely invisible, it has been confirmed.

With a shirt that could blind ya, the retired postman by the name of Rex Zammit (68) has created a bit of a name for himself over the years as a vibrant regular with stories as colourful as his lid.

No one in town knows where or how Rex manages to get his hands on such tropical clothing, especially seeing as though he hasn’t been seen anywhere outside of the RSL in the last decade.

However, bar staff and managers say that they feel the twenty-year member of the BRSLC may be wearing these patterns for the same reasons the club has them on the carpets.

“You can’t see half the stains if you have a tropical Hawaiin-style pattern” says club President, Brucey.

“The same way train seats have those colourful kaleidoscope cotton covers – you can hardly see that someone has pissed themselves on it”

While the jury remains locked over whether or not Rex literally pisses himself while on the premises, he certainly does make the other drunken old codgers piss themselves.

“What do ya know?” he asks the younger patrons at the bar.

“Not much, Rex. What do you know” responds local plumbing apprentice Rex.

“I know you’re not getting a beer before me [hysterical smokers laugh]”






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