ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Former leg spin greats Shane Warne and Stuart MacGill are both present at the Sydney Cricket Ground today – and they’ve reportedly made their way to the Australian dressing room and offered their services to captain Steve Smith.

Warne, who’d already got a rummaged through Nathan Lyon’s kit bag for a playing shirt, said he’d have the Poms back in the pavilion by sundown.

Hot on his heels was Stuart MacGill, who was quick to point out that he frequently out-bowled Shane at the SCG, also said that he’d been watching the pitch deteriorate quickly and simply couldn’t let the opportunity go begging.

“Smudge, put me on at the Paddington End and Shane on at the Randwick,” said MacGill.

“Just like back in the day. Mate, we live for this shit. This is my house. Nobody wants to come to the cricket tomorrow, let’s just finish it now and spent the night getting thrown out of every gin joint on Oxford Street.”

The wineman’s sentiments were echoed by Warne, who said he’s fitter and stronger than when he actually played Test cricket.

However, Smith said that he appreciated the offer but couldn’t ultimately accept it.

“If I could, I would, guys,” he said.

“But then Boof would feel left out. The ACB would likely have my Nintendo Switch confiscated and then who knows where it’ll end? Where do you draw the line? Will Jeff Thomson ask to have another sling? He’d bloody sling his arm into the Ladies Stand if I said yes,”

“Sorry guys, I’ve made up my mind. It’s a no from me, fellas.”

Warne and MacGill slammed the dressing room door behind them; Shane headed back up into the commentary box while Stuart retired to the bar to enjoy a hot mid-strength Shiraz out of a plastic cup.

More to come.


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