KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
The birth rate in the fastest growing city in Australia is expected to launch into hyperdrive today as Brisvegas celebrates their momentous NRL grand final appearance.
With the greater Brisbane area growing by 59,200 people in the last year, bean counters at the Australian Bureau of Statistics are predicting that the state may double, or even triple their population growth figures in 2024, as an expected 50,000 proud little Queenslanders begin to pop out in the state’s maternity wards.
Despite not even winning the NRL Grand Final, or the AFL Grand Final for that matter, it’s believed the state will be facing a baby boom in June and July next year.
A nail-biting loss to Penrith in the dying minutes of the rugby league season has done little to stifle the extreme hero-worship that Brisbane has for their beloved Bronx. With Queenslanders inspired exciting backline of sexy thoroughbreds who play a pretty sick brand of footy.
Tthe state is preparing itself for an influx of little ‘Selwyns’ and Kotonis’ in 2024.
Speaking to the head of Queensland’s birth reporting system, Trevor Tallis, local governments are already putting steps in place to ensure infrastructure can cope with the boom.
“We’re expecting a baby bumper month in late June and July next year, we might as well put a soft hold on every hospital bed in the state.”
“If you’ve seen how those Broncos boys can party and the attention they’re getting from some local ladies, this grand final loss has resusciated the Broncos brand. And the fact of the matter is, the boys are good looking. Like old fashioned handsome”
“So, yeah, for whatever reason, Queensland mothers like to name their sons after good looking blokes. Just look at me, my mum named me after Trevor Gillmeister. He was the Brad Pitt of 1980s Brisbane rugby league.”
“Either way, there’s an exciting new generation of NRL and NRLW stars in the works I have no doubt!”
“Not to mention the babies that these boys might be fathering out there”
“We’re hoping some athletically gifted genetic freaks are born from this boom so we can start building our 2046 State of Origin side. We’ll probably have won 20 in a row by then!”
More to come.