Another weekend and another lot of drubbings in Super Rugby for the Australian teams.

The head of Australian Rugby Bill Pulver has today admitted that after severe pressure being applied by the International Rugby Board, it’s finally time to cut the losses, and merge all five Aussie super rugby teams into one.

Pulver and the Australian Rugby Union announced that the new team will be called the “Sydney Sausages.”

“Look, I’ll be honest with you, let’s not call this new franchise a “superteam” or be unrealistic in our expectations, we just want to able to give some of these kiwi sides a run for their money,” Pulver said.

“Hopefully if we collapsed all five franchises we can form one, half competitive team.”

When asked about the odd new name of the franchise, Pulver explained that they are Sausages because it’s a “team of offcuts” and Sydney-based because “the ARU needs to keep in mind about where most of our talent and loyalty lies”

“Originally we were going to call it the North Sydney Sausages, but we’ve noticed that the Waratah fans have been pushing the Roosters crowd out the East”

Wallabies coach Michael Cheika said that he can understand the reasoning behind the decision.

“When I was playing footy, everyone had a real hard fucking crack every time they stepped out on the field. Yeah, those Ella boys were flashy, but most of us had fuck all in terms of skills. We just all ripped in and showed a bit of mongrel,” he said.

“It’s a bit diluted at the moment with this convey belt from Perth to France, to Japan, to Canberra… We need to keep these morons in one place”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here