Recent reports by people changing channels aimlessly before dinnertime has found that the Winter Olympics is still, what the fuck?

A whole week after all the punchlines and snowboarding has wrapped up, apparently there are still heats for like cross country skiing and weird ass events involving guns. Haha.

A heap of Australians are still competing, at high levels, and of course their events are being taken seriously – but like, how many fucking sports do they have in this thing.

Obviously, bobsledding is a the pinnacle of winter sports, essentially the equivalent of the Summer Olympic’s 100 metre sprint – a fact that was confirmed by the 1993 American comedy Cool Runnings – but what’s all this stuff about extreme jumps and shit?

Another question that is being asked by many Australians is, where do Aussie athletes learn and train for half this shit? The only snow in Australia is taken up by tourists, and judging by the amount of people we sent over there, we could fill all of Perisher with a Winter Olympics program.

It is not yet known how long this whole thing will last for, but given the broad range in types of sports shown on the most recent TV newsflash, it looks like they’ve still got heaps of medals to give out.



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here