Former Wallabies coach, and former All Blacks players Robbie Deans has been spotted over the weekend in an exclusive Kiwi Rugby Royalty clubhouse on the Avon River in Canterbury, a water estuary named after his pioneering great-great-great-grandfather John Deans.

It is believed that Deans was seen taking part in a jovial and rambunctious conversation with the former captain of his supposed rival team, while he was coach of the Wallabies.

Deans was believed to be holding his pinkie toward his mouth and laughing like a supervillain while discussing the current state of the Wallabies with Richie McCaw.

“Did you see them play Genia? mwahahahah” he chortled.

“I’m the whole reason those players keep getting selected mwahahaha”

“I’m the reason most of them went overseas as well… It worked Richie, you were right”

It is alleged that Richie McCaw then leant forward performing a ‘hongi’ greeting on the successful Australian-based Kiwi sleeper cell.

A hongi is a traditional Māori greeting in New Zealand. It is done by pressing one’s nose and forehead (at the same time) to another person at an encounter.

In the hongi, the ha (or breath of life), is exchanged and intermingled. The breath of life can also be interpreted as the sharing of both parties’ souls.

This comes as ARU chief executive Bill Pulver has today declared that he will resign immediately at Tuesday’s emergency general meeting if everyone in the room votes against him staying in the job.

“If everyone in the room stood up on Tuesday and said, ‘Bill, we think it’s time for change now’, I will step down immediately,” said Pulver

“I just don’t know what it is. The team is good on paper. There’s something that happened to them… It dates back before my time”

“It’s like they’ve been white-anted from within”



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