As snow sports sickos and action-deprived sports fans enjoy the quadrennial fortnight of winter madness, local accountant Anthony Hoffman has offered to lend a hand to anyone feeling out of their depth.

Speaking to The Advocate a short time ago, Hoffman said he’s more than willing to give out detailed previews of every single winter event – to anyone willing to listen.

That’s because the young man from an upper-middle-class family on the edge of Betoota Grove spent 6 months ‘doing a season in Whistler.’

Which apparently qualifies him to provide a running commentary on the Beijing Winter Olympics.

“I mean, technically I was just working in a youth hostel there in Whistler, but I’m a ski bum through and through, and I can talk you through biathlon or whatever you want,” said Hoffman.

“Or the Nordic combined man. I love it all. It’s my jam.”

“I’m also a bit of an expert in how to have a good time at the Dubh or Garfinkels, but I probably shouldn’t talk too much about that,” laughed the local legend.

Hoffman then confirmed that he hasn’t exactly been too productive at work this week.

“Might have watched a bit too much of the stuff,” explained the zany accountant.

“I just don’t get how more people don’t get around snowsports,” continued the man whose family went on frequent skiing holidays as a kid.

“Or why everyone doesn’t want to do a season in Whistler”

“It’s so mad”

“You’re not living if you haven’t done it”

“Anyway, whatever you want to know about the Olympics, you just let me know”


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