As Parliament spends their dying days before the 2022 election campaign debating the Religious Freedoms Bill, it seems the Greens have decided that there is no room for nuance in their utopian universe that is modelled off that song that John Lennon wrote about the merits of state-enforced atheism.

The bill, which was initially pitched as legislation that was supposed to protect religious Australians from being discriminated against by bosses or landlords who don’t like turbans, ended up becoming somewhat of an Morrison Government experiment in Christian supremacy.

As it was proposed yesterday afternoon, these weird new laws would protect the religious freedoms of anyone who doesn’t wanna to hire a homosexual, or any teacher who doesn’t want to teach a trans kid, or anyone who doesn’t want to rent a house to an unmarried woman.

However, overnight, a number of Liberal MPs crossed the floor to amend the the bill so that it also protects the rights of LGBTI kids and employees.

With a number of changes still expected to be made in the senate, the Religious Freedoms act is starting to look like a problem for Scotty From Marketing, after a number of his own colleagues team up with the opposition to iron out all of the homophobic hall passes that he has promised all of his Pentecostal mates.

However, the fact that this debate wasn’t abolished from the get go is not good enough for the Australian Greens Party, who have accused even the opponents of this bill of being of being homophobic murderers for even considering the anxieties and human rights of Religious Australians.

Speaking to the media today, Greens Party leader Adam Bandt has made it clear that when his party win 75 more seats, he will introduce an act to ban all religions, except for the ones that appear in their campaign posters.

“Obviously the Greens are opposed to all of the churches our grandparents dragged us to as kids” says Bandt.

“So yeah. When we take power, and are in a position to achieve nothing and debate nothing, and shout down any form of nuance… We will ban all of them”

“Except for the ones that appear in all of a marketing material. You know the ones. It’s kind of hard to pitch yourselves as the free-love harmony party if you don’t include them in your campaign posters”

“Even if our entire voter base were educated in Christian schools and dress like Malcolm Turnbull”


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