In an unfortunate turn of events, local Year 12 student at Betoota Trinity College, Tristan Christopher (17) , has decided to drop out of school midway through his Higher School Certificate examinations after shamefully calling his teacher ‘Mum.’ 

The catastrophe began outside the school hall in between testing periods for the HSC. When trying to figure out if he was allowed to use a red pen on his upcoming modern history exam, the only pen he had, Tristan thought it would be best to double check with his favorite English teacher, what happened next changed the entire course of his life.

Tristan approached the teacher and said.

“Excuse me mum- I mean miss”

With over 20 witnesses to Tristan’s embarrassing freudian slip, or just a natural slip up as he protests was the case, it’s safe to say he is done here.

“It was just an accident, I swear, I don’t know why people feel the need to look so deeply into it.” Tristan proclaimed.

While Tristan generally regards himself as a fairly satisfactory student, with dreams of studying sports science at a mid level university, it seems these aspirations have been thrown away with this catastrophic fuck up.

“I was so close, two more exams and I was out the door” he said.

“I was doing so well too. There’s just no way I can ever show my face again in that place.” Tristan said.

With his dreams of tertiary education down the drain and no clear prospects on the horizon, Tristan remains confident that he is making the right decision.

“My hands are tied, I can’t come back here. It’s going to be tough but it’s my only choice, looks like I have a future in cleaning car windows in traffic – at least it’s honest work.” Said Tristan.

The Advocate spoke to the teacher in the middle of the incident for a comment.

“Yep, it happens every year, there’s always one.”

“Last year our vice captain did the same thing and we never saw him again, last I heard he had a job cleaning crime scenes in Betoota Ponds”


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