TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact

It’s long been suspected that Tim Houghton was the shittest bloke in their friendship group, but a recent stunt at a Betoota pub confirmed it for a group of honest, beer loving mates. 

The tight-knit group of men had been in rounds drinking pints of Betoota Bitter all afternoon.

It’s believed that when it came to Tim’s turn he somehow forgot what size of beers had been drinking all afternoon and rocked up at the table with fucking schooners. 

“Mate, what are these?” questioned one friend immediately. 

“Oh, what? Aren’t we drinking Betoota Bitter?” replies Tim.

“Yeah, we’ve been drinking pints though. Mate, how could you get that wrong?” the friend clapped back. 

“Shit really? I didn’t know! Have I been drinking pints this whole time?” Tim continues to lie. 

While some may give Tim the benefit of the doubt, his mates have been putting up with his tight arse selfish ways for far too long to be fooled. 

The Advocate can confirm that it’s not just beers that he skimps out on, but he is also hopeless at returning favours.

One friend who wished to remain anonymous said that Tim saw him walking home with arms full of groceries and instead of pulling over to offer the friend a lift, Tim drove straight past – despite that same friend going out of his way to drop Tim at his social touch game the day before. 

“I’m just sick of his shit, we are all mates and it’s just awkward when he does this to us” 

It’s believed that the friends have conspired against Tim and will be putting a shot of Vodka in his beer for the rest of the session. 


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