As a privately educated Australian woman who works in PR, Betoota local Caitlan O’Harrah (24) decided to make the pilgrimage to London where she will live and work for the next couple of years.

After quickly learning that even the cheapest areas on the Monopoly board are home to only the super rich, O’Harrah has taken to the comfort of British TV to hide from the surprisingly ungentrified nature of her local chicken shops.

Unfortunately for O’Harrah, British reality TV has turned out to be more addictive than the litres of hand-pumped, weakly carbonated, room temperature English ale she has already smashed in one week of living here.

“They have this one dating show but everyone is in the nuddy,” stated O’Harrah who has not met one Hugh Grant type that wasn’t actually just present day Hugh Grant (63).

“And you see everything. Like, literally everything. I can’t believe these guys have an international reputation for being uptight when there are recruiters and sales managers flashing their gash on telly for free.”

Naked dating shows aside, O’Harrah has also been drawn in by the UK iteration of Married At First Sight to observe the cultural differences between the UK and Australia such as how UK men call their friends ‘the lads’ instead of ‘the boys’.

After playing with the fire of international reality TV O’Harrah has found herself in the burns unit as a victim of two versions of the same very trashy reality show.

“It’s OK because each season is only 60 hours so that’s only 120 hours a year which ends up only being 0.2% of waking hours a year and that’s without factoring ads into it.”

“Plus, it’s educational. I’m learning about what types of Australian and British men to watch out for. Mostly, it’s the type that would do something weird and attention grabbing like marrying a stranger on TV for literally no reason.”

“But it’s fine, I’ve got it under control enit? That’s how you say that, yeah? Babes?”



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