EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A woman who needs the constant validation from her peers has been forced to get a move on today, after realising she only has five days left to purge her Spotify.

This comes as the Spotify Wrapped stops collecting data by October 31, which means Anita Charleston has to get a hell of a lot of listening to get done by Halloween, lest the Lizzie McGuire movie be listed as one of her first top five most listened to soundtracks – data Anita could of course choose not to share, but what’s the fun in that?

Speaking to The Advocate, Anita says she has a fair idea of what her top songs would be, and laments that none of them ‘are cool enough to share’ – therefore forcing her to perform this Black Mirror-esque charade of manipulating her results.

“It’s mostly white noise and lo-fi”, says Anita, looking slightly embarrassed, “and medieval versions of rap songs.”

“I love me some Beedle the Bardcore.”

Showing us some of her playlists, which include ‘ten hours of oscillating fan noises’, Anita says she’s been trying to flush out some of the worst contenders by playing some ‘cool music.’

“I probably can’t push out the fan sounds because I’ve been listening to it for several hours a night.”

“But hopefully I can bump out Ed Sheeran.”

More to come.


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