EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A Betoota Heights woman has found herself baulking at the cost of a much needed surgery today, despite last week spending almost $400 for three areas of botox in her forehead.

Speaking to The Advocate, Daphne Kirk, 32, admits that’s been rawdogging an ingrown toenail for roughly three weeks in the hopes that it would magically go away, but that an incident involving a dumbbell at the gym had forced  her to make some calls about getting it removed – only to find out that it would cost her a staggering $500!

“Fuck me, that’s a lot of money”, said Daphne, attempting to furrow her brow, “I don’t understand why it costs that much.”

“I think that hurts more than the toenail.”

It’s alleged Daphne often uses this kind of girl math when differentiating between beauty therapy and much needed medical treatments, having also recently foregone a psychiatrist consultation in favour of getting laser skin treatment.

When asked if perhaps she’s prioritising the wrong things, Daphne lets out a scoff.

“Hahaha no, beauty treatments ARE my mental health.”

More to come.


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