ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Little Wolfgang Spencer of Greenpoint Road in Betoota Grove has had his wisdom, which is beyond his years, relayed to the world via his father’s Facebook account this morning.

As the Australia Day Long Weekend fast approaches, the bright two-year-old quested his father why not everyone in the country can enjoy the holiday.

The exchange was quoted verbatim by Peter Spencer, Wolfie’s dad, and shared with his Facebook followers:

At only two-years-old, my son Wolfie is already so wise! He came to me this morning when I was having breakfast and checking my share portfolio and he asked me:
“Daddy, why can’t every Australian celebrate Australia Day?”
I told him it was a complex issue that a lot of people are passionate about. Then he said “Can’t everybody just love each other like you and Mummy?”
I teared up and said maybe one day. One day we might be able to live together as one.

As of 11:30 am today, the post has garnered two likes and one share, one being Peter himself and the other his wife Morag, who also felt compelled to share it.

Speaking exclusively to The Advocate about his son’s poise and acumen, Peter explained that Wolfie often displays signs of genius and ability – even at such a young age.

“Sometimes it takes a two-year-old’s understanding of the world to make you question your own,” he said.

“Wolfie is such a curious boy, some of the woke things he says leaves me shook. But a good shook, the type of pensive shookness that leads to personal growth. Most of the other kids in his daycare are still eating paint and pissing on the rug,”

“And my son is questioning the very fabric by which our society lives by. My wife and I think he’s got what it takes to be the first Greens PM in history. With pangs of both upper and working classes running through his veins, I think that should be more of a reality than a dream.”

But not everyone was convinced that Wolfie was being the insightful political commentary.

The Advocate‘s editor-in-chief, Clancy Overell, has a bastard son in Wolfgang’s class at Koala Cottage Day Care on Mulholland Drive.

He’s also Facebook friends with Peter Spencer and can testify to the amount of ‘Wolfgang-related wisdom posts’ that Spencer feels obligated to share.

“My boy has barely stopped smearing his shit all over the walls of his mother’s place,” he said.

“I can just tell his going to a handful as a teenager. Anyway, point is that Pete’s little shit doesn’t say these things. There’s zero fucking chance of that. I’ve seen him playing in the sandpit down the Koala Cottage, the kid found himself a bit of cat shit he liked so much he put it in his mouth,”

“Apparently the very same mouth that’s on the verge of solving every problem the world has ever had. Hey Wolfie, what’s your opinion on peak oil? Oh that’s right, you can barely fucking string a sentence together. Actually, can you not print this? I know it’s my call anyway but we’re going to a BBQ with him and if he reads this, it’ll be pretty awkward. Cheers.”

More to come.


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