A thrifty idiot is being sanctioned today, for showing a considerable lack of respect for small business owners dying to make a buck.

With only two camping trips under his belt, local Hornsby man Garth Armstrong is what many seasoned campers would refer to as a “Newbie”, and is today continuing to demonstrate the kind of behaviour that will see him get blanked by fellow campers as he trots his pale little legs to the caravan park shower cubicle.

The type of holidaymaker who is gullible enough to purchase a portable shower, Garth is believed to have journeyed to Forster Tuncurry Holiday Park on the mid-north coast of NSW in his Mazda CX-7, which has only recently been kitted out with a soft shell rooftop tent.

Unpacking his car with his latest haul from Anaconda, including a suitcase of fresh new fishing shirts, Garth was excited to show off his extraordinary levels of stinge to The Advocate, unaware that he was denying the local town he’d strolled into the chance to turn over a dollar this Christmas.

“Check this out, I brought my new coffee pod machine!,” Garth told our reporter, unpacking his Red Lavazza Smeg Capsule machine from its styrofoam casing.

“Sometimes you need those home comforts, haha!”

Completely oblivious to the fact that the local area relies heavily on the injection of tourist cash over the holiday period, Garth told The Advocate the inclusion of his shitty little pod machine was vital for him to save some coin this Christmas.

“Love my morning coffee everyday, but camping is just getting so expensive you know,” Garth told our reporter. 

“Although I’ll still need to go to the cafe to break a few notes for the laundry, do you reckon they’ll be good to split a $50?”

The Advocate can report post conversation our journalist took Garth’s precious capsule machine and flung it into the ocean, before telling the newbie camper to wake up to himself and go buy his family some breakfast.

No more to come.


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