LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Staying up to date with current online trends has reached outside of the world of digital media as a Betoota therapist has confirmed they are unwillingly up to date with basically everything that is happening on TikTok.
With 100% of polite society now completely mentally ill, therapists around the world have been handed a licence to absolutely print money.
For Betoota therapist Dr Lea Angelo, the trade off for her new found fortune involves listening to hours of poorly recounted TikToks and how they made her clients feel like hiding under their bed.
“Often they’ll want me to watch the video they’re talking about so we can discuss it like a book club,” stated Dr Angelo, who caught herself saying the term ‘no cap’ and humming along to the tune of Bongo Cha Cha Cha last week.
“One client wanted me to test them for dizziness because they saw a TikTok video that said ‘if you’re watching this you’re definitely dizzy.”
“I tried to tell her there is no test for being dizzy, you either are or you aren’t. In the end I just diagnosed her with chronic dizziness because it was just easier that way. She’s now one of the leading content creators on DizTok.”
According to Dr Angelo, the effects of fast moving social media content during lockdown has resulted in an influx of screen addiction which would be worth fighting if it didn’t make her so much money.
“I hear the term chronically online used quite often and I think it’s very fitting. I’ve dealt with drug addicts who also used to sneak a hit while in the loo too. Once we figure out a screen addiction rehab program then we might step in but until then let’s just see how we go. I do have a conservatory to finish after all.”
MORE TO COME.