ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The youngest-of-four, Morgan Stapleman says he’s long been the source of ridicule from his older siblings and parents.

He’s preparing for that to continue come Christmas Day as the broke 20-year-old gaming attendant doesn’t have enough money to buy his family presents for Christmas.

“I still have a prepaid phone,” he said. “I can’t even trust myself to hop on a plan.”

So to put his mind at ease, the Ceramic Art student is hoping that his mere presence at his brother’s four-bedder in a leafy North Betoota cul-de-sac will be a present in itself.

“My mother doesn’t really expect much of me this time of year, she knows I’d rather spend my money drinking myself I shit the bed than buy her a nice pan or Dad a new pair of secateurs,” he said.

“She’s good like that. I think she was doing the same thing when she was my age.”

The delinquent Virgo’s sentiments were echoed by his mother Gwendolyn, who said she knows her young fucks up all the time, but it’d be nice to see him.

“Just as long as he brushes his teeth,” she said.

“Last year, we could hear him vomiting in the front yard before he came in with a used hot water bottle wrapped in newspaper, which he then gave gifted. I gave it back to him at the end of the day, because I know he needs it more than me,”

“The thought was nice, though.”


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