LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In a world that recently moved from theme park prices to wedding prices, it makes complete sense that a hospitality worker would like to ask you for a tip, as awkward and American as it is.
Ingeniously, one Betoota waiter claims to have figured out a rather cunning way to determine if a table is worth pushing for a tip without said diners even noticing.
As a waiter at Flight Path District Italian restaurant Simply Nonnas, an eatery that only uses free range meat from female animals that became grandmas in their lifetime, George Frisante (27) likes to show his customers a good time, especially the ones who want to live their mafia movie fantasies and slip a $50 into his breast pocket.
However, not every table features a mass-tipping James Conway type, a trope Fristante claims he is easily able to determine by simply asking customers if they will be having still or sparkling water.
“Someone paying that extra for sparkling is really ready to shake their feathers and throw some cash about,” stated Frisante, weirdly pronouncing sparkling with three syllables, with an accented inflection as if it were an Italian word.
“And if they specify tap water I hope they brought their own food because they might not see me again for the rest of the night.”
Checking back in with Frisante after a night of service at Simply Nonnas, the enterprising lad stated his plan was not so simple as he once thought.
“Turns out the money they were going to put towards my tip they seem to have spent on several rounds of the sparkling water. Is it because that’s how rich people stay rich? By paying everyone else absolute peanuts?”
“Or is it because Sodastream gave poor people a taste for bubbles?”
“Whatever, I got tipped enough for the commute home. That is, enough after service fees and if the owner remembers to put it in my paycheck this month…”
MORE TO COME.