A particularly shredded, tanned and probably arrogant 6”3 man has today walked into Betoota’s popular weight training centre, the Lead Shed, open-mouth-chewing chewing gum and seemingly forgetting to wear a shirt.

While this combination usually garners a lot of welcome attention for Jackson Harris, today in the Lead Shed, nobody could care less.

In an attempt to turn some heads, Jackson began throwing around some free weights – the sheer ear-piercing sound of metal on metal turned heads, but it was what happened next that really got people looking.

“Ahhhh!” one woman let out a shrill scream.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” She spat at Jackson, who was now panicking.

Everyone rushed to the woman’s side, an off-duty doctor at the scene was quick to diagnose the woman with a broken foot.

“I think it’s best if you leave, mate” said Rusty the club manager.

With his tail between his legs, Jackson left the premises. Catching up with The Advocate a short while after the incident, Jackson admitted the situation really spiraled out of control.

“Fuck, I just wanted to get people to look at me. The bird’s foot I broke was so hot too, do you reckon I’m still in with a shot?”

“What hospital is she in? I’ll bring her some flowers.”

With the woman planning on pressing charges, we suspect that Jackson, who turned to weightlifting and steroids to suppress his crippling self-esteem issues, may need a little more than flowers to win over anyone at this stage.

More to come.


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