ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A Townsville man has confessed to inhaling twelve Krispy-Kreme doughnuts which he purchased at Brisbane Airport shortly before he flew out this afternoon.

Francis Dollarhyde, a defence contractor and junior rugby league coach, purchased the sweet treats for his family as a treat.

However, somewhere over Mackay, the temptation proved to be too much.

“I had two at the gate waiting to board,” he told The Advocate via telephone this afternoon.

“Even that kinda made me feel disappointed in myself. But I was so hungry. I got on the beers last night with some Brisbane mates and I was really in the midst of a sugar crash. Coupled with being uncomfortably hungover, I just caved,”

“There I was in row B in the middle, just scoffing these Krispy-Kremes while my row-mates looked on in horror. A bit rolled out of the side of my gob and onto this blokes arm. Before he could say anything, I just reached down and picked it right up then ate it. Jesus fucking wept, what the hell is the matter with me.”

A hostess aboard the flight, who’d even taken extra care with Mr Dollarhyde as to accommodate the Krispy-Kremes to make sure they didn’t get crushed, was also visibly appalled by the event.

Upon landing in Townsville some 30 minutes ago, he only had a few short minutes to dispose of the evidence before his family would see him at the baggage carousel.

“I panicked and just left the box on the seat,” he said.

“The hosties were already staring daggers at me so I doubled down and just said ‘fuck it’,”

“I might as well chop my bronze frequent flyer card up now. They’ve got a cross next to my name now for sure.”

More to come.



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