WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact

While the current scandal plaguing the financial services industry has some serious ramifications for the PM and his ministers, some ex and outgoing pollies are reportedly licking their lips at heads rolling.

With the number of scalps growing at AMP (Chairman Catherine Brenner, CEO Craig Meller and General Counsel and Company Secretary Brian Salter all leaving the company), and more surely set to come across the board, a large number of ex and ageing Federal Politicians are keeping their phones handy.

“This Royal Commision is a nightmare for Turnbull and Co, but geez it’s opening up some avenues for us old boys,” said Andrew Ross, an ex-minister who spoke to The Advocate today.

“It’s really nice to know that we will be rewarded for all of the work we have collectively done over the last 20 or 30 years to deregulate the banking and financial services industry that has allowed the widespread and systematic misconduct and fraud currently on display,” he said.

Another Labor MP from some shitty suburban seat in outer Melbourne source said expanding the number of positions that will become available means that there will be ‘safety in numbers’ going forward.

“You know how you see like wildebeest and stuff stampeding across the rivers in Africa, well that’s sort of what might happen here,” he said.

“Look at Andrew Robb the ex Trade Minister who negotiated the lease of the Port Of Darwin for a Chinese Company and then went and got a job with them straight out of politics. Or Bobby Carr, the ex NSW premier who walked out of Macquarie Street and straight into Macquarie Bank, doing that stuff alone raises eyebrows.”

“It’s not like they got picked off by crocs or anything, but it wasn’t a good look. But now, most of us should be able to slip through, and don’t have to tee up consultancy gigs with resources companies.”

“Snout out of one trough, and straight it another,” the source laughed.

He told The Advocate that even some of the old boys from state politics could be in the running for lucrative gigs at large financial services firms.

“Yeah as long as they haven’t been publicly outed for doing favours for developers they should be alright,” he source said.


  1. AMP announces four new executive appointments:
    Barnaby Joyce to be appointed head of human resources once his paternity leave ends;
    Clive Palmer to be new head of corporate governance and China relations
    Bob “Cat in the Hat” Katter to be head of diversity and tolerance
    Alan Jones as media liason


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