LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

Change is in their air in South Betoota as basement dweller Marty “Muzza” Willis (19) finally discovers Christopher Hitchens after an intense ten-month long, bong-fueled Bill Hicks phase.

“He was one of the last good ones you know what I mean?” he said.

“Things…aaaah…people listened you know?”

After ploughing through all the Bill Hicks related material on YouTube, Willis decided to roll the dice and clicked on a suggested video he had not yet seen named “Christopher Hitchens OWNS idiot!”

Willis claims to watch this 480p video at 2:48 am was a life-changing experience that he insists would have been just as amazing if he was not twelve cones deep.

“Far out! So real!”

While friends of Willis are glad they will no longer be subjected to poorly performed Bill Hicks routines, they are not particularly enthused by the idea of Muzza regurgitating Hitchens’s anti-totalitarian regime through mouthfuls of half-chewed Cheese Supreme Doritos.

“Hitchens is the man! He knows more about religion than Christians! Genius!”

Despite being raised by non-religious parents, the dual influence of Hicks and Hitchens has turned Willis into what he describes as a ‘proud and militant atheist’ and what his mates describe as ‘a pretty basic stoner.’

Perhaps most responsible for Willis’s decline into nihilism his best friend, Patrick Mason (19), who was the one who introduced him to Bill Hicks in the first place.

“Yeah but, I showed him the funny one where he was having a go at the waffle waitress, not that atheist shit. Good God, what am I going to do when he discovers Richard Dawkins?”

More to come


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here