As the sound of one billion empty bottles being tossed into yellow bins echoes across the land, The Advocate has today tracked down the one lone corporate soldier who’s heading into the office to write some emails.

Stationed at the West Queensland office of ANZ Bank in downtown Betoota, local numbers guy Nathan Starc (29) has dawdled into the office at 9:10am this morning, knowing full well there won’t be a single senior person around to call out that he’s late.

A professional that usually has to suit and boot up for his day, Nathan decided that today he would just run a jeans and jogger number, and didn’t even bother to put a slick of gel in his hair.

Staring around the pods of empty desks, some still dressed in single-use Christmas decorations, Nathan was surprised to see three other random colleagues he’d never spoken to, and gave them all a half hearted nod.

Realising that he was about to spend the next eight hours drafting out a bunch of emails no one would be reading for another week, Nathan sighed and decided that he would just completely flunk the day and use the office as a place to muck around and waste some company time.

Jumping on Google to see who’d be batting first, Nathan’s day was made even worse when he realised there was no test cricket on today, and he couldn’t even cheekily put it on in the big 85” LCD TV that sits in the master boardroom.

Staring out the window, looking across the empty streets of Betoota’s finance district, Nathan’s day officially reached a crisis point when he saw that his favourite coffee van on the street level was also closed up for the day, the barista probably sunning his ass on some beach in Noosa.

“This sucks,” whispered Nathan, just praying that there would be some fresh milk in the fridge.

“I’m booking my leave for Easter…”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here