EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A simmering jealousy between siblings has today reached boiling point, after the youngest daughter was seen sporting a pair of clear teeth straighteners, which were a far cry from her older sister’s hideous braces.

Emma Childs [27] is said to have been a metal mouth at a critical point in her teenagehood, roughly the same time she started discovering boys. Unfortunately as she wasn’t one of those effortlessly cool, popular girls who could pull off a metallic smile, Emma had to deal with two years of being extraordinarily self conscious – made worse by needing bands. This meant that she not only had to deal with people staring at her mouth every time she spoke, but she also had to deal with a fuck ton of pain.

With the only solace being the ability to pick colours each visit, Emma was constantly reminded that the struggle and sacrifice would be worth it in the end when she had a movie star smile. Because there’s no such thing as beauty without pain.

So when her already spoiled sister came home wearing barely noticeable teeth straighteners, Emma understandably hit the roof – because just like acne,  hideous braces should be a rite of passage and the pivotal moment in a teen’s life where they’re forced to build character.

Speaking to our reporter who also had a less than fashionable way of dealing with an underbite, Emma lets out her frustrations in a series of expletives.

“It’s fucking bullshit, everyone should have to deal with being ugly at some point.”

“She changes trays every two weeks. I got my braces tightened every six weeks – do you know how fucking painful that is.”

“Fuck this, fuck everything, fuck dentists, fuck my parents.”

“I hope she loses them in the fucking bin.”

More to come


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