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A local number 9 batsman has walked out of Wilson Sporting Goods on Mitchell Avenue a thousand dollars lighter after he simply couldn’t walk past this season’s offerings from Kookaburra.

Though he barely averages double figures, Michael Plug told The Advocate that the blame for that lies in his poor choice of bat last season – prompting him to make the purchase.

“I made the biggest mistake of my life last season and bought a Woodworm,” he said.

“While I initially liked how balanced the Wormy was and the weight distribution, I grew to hate that bat after a midseason slump last year that saw me get clean bowled and run out for a duck in for successive innings’,”

“But this new Kookaburra I got this morning, that should change everything. It’s like two inches thick and weighs more than a Les Paul. I’m going to be carting blokes around the park all summer; it’ll be grouse.”

However, the fourth-grade Dolphins cricketer has had his assessment on his batting performance challenged by his captain, who told The Advocate that Plug should be focusing more on his bowling.

Mark Funk explained that while he’s happy Michael is starting to take his batting seriously, he’s been selected as a bowler, not an all-rounder.

“If he can score a quick ten late in the innings, he’s done his job,” said Funk.

“But yeah, a lot of the batsmen in the team will be asking to borrow that new hunk of wood Plug’s got himself. For a bloke of Mick’s ability to drop a grand on a bat is just hilarious,”

“He’ll be using it to fruit ninja a few toilets this season I reckon. Bloke loves to smash a dunny after a bad day with the bat.”

More to come.


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