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“Hey,” he thought.

“Nick Xenophon doing talking to Virgil like that and why is Lady Penelope sitting on such as ghastly cheap couch?”

Speaking to The Advocate about what happened inside his head last night, a popular drug abuser said he turned on the television last night and what he saw didn’t make sense.

Julian Green wasn’t sure if he was watching Barrie Cassidy, of ABC’s Insiders fame, grill some political person or if he was about to see Gordon Tracey explore the depths of the big blue bin.

“Yeah man, it was weird,” he said slowly.

“I was like, why is this claymation puppet guy yelling at Kevin Rudd for? How do they even know each other? Isn’t Thunderbirds like 60 years old? It was all too much,”

“So I like got up and fixed myself some microwave popcorn while I tried to bring up the television guide on my phone because I was too high to go back into the living room without knowing what I was looking at, you know? Turns out it was Insiders.”

Our reporters reach out to Mr Cassidy and the Insiders production team for comment but have yet to receive a reply.

However, a number of other local cannabis users have come forward with similar stories.

A friend of Green’s, who asked to remain anonymous, told The Advocate that he’s been real bent before and stumbled upon Insiders – it too rocked him slightly.

“At first I was like, ‘I want to feel your face with my hands,’ but then I thought that’d be bit rude,” she said.

“But he is so mesmerising, even more so when you’ve doubled down on the edibles. I mean, I was sinking into the couch like it was made of mozzarella and there was Barrie, just swanning about on his couch like a real man about town,”

“Man I need a job.”

More to come.


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