EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A local bloke has had his whole worldview turned on its head after finding out that his girlfriend isn’t into muscly men, or really any man that he would deem attractive by his conventional beauty standards.

This startling realisation is said to have occurred when Anthony made an offhand remark about finding the Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian coupling odd, with Georgie quickly informing him that Pete was actually quite the hottie and she got it completely – earning a rather puzzled look from Anthony, as he tried to digest this new information.

“You’re not serious are you?” asks Anthony, pulling up a picture of Pete on his phone, “this guy?”

“He looks like he’s never eaten a green vegetable in his life.”

“He’s fucking anaemic?”

Thinking it may have just been an anomaly, Anthony was ready to move on when the subject came up again, this time while they were watching the latest episode of Euphoria.

“I know he’s an asshole but he’s so hot”, says Georgie, “like he’s so manipulative but you can’t deny he’s got some moves.”

Thinking she was talking about the poster boy for sheer male perfection, Jacob Elordi, Anthony was about to agree when Georgie added that it’s a shame he’s probably going to die, given his association with Rue.

“Wait, Elliot? Are you for real?”

“His arms are skinnier than yours?”

Looking at his girlfriend like she was a mad woman, Anthony had asked for an explanation when he was hit with some hard facts – prompting him to completely reconsider if pumping iron and smashing calories was even worth it.

“It’s because they’re charming, funny and have that big dick energy”, says Georgie, “you know you could have a good conversation with them because they’ve worked on it. They’re kind of like the cool, funny kids from school.”

“Like yes, Jason Mamoa is objectively hot but he’d be so full of himself, and you’d always worry about his attention straying.”

“Super hot people are boring.”

“Give me a malnourished funny man any day.”

More to come.


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