TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact

Hannah Milcroft has basically had a gong rung in her ears this morning after her friend, Jen Logan, came bouncing towards her at full noise before 8:00am and before Hannah was even half way through her coffee.

“Hey Jen” Hannah said blatantly aggressively.

“See this cup? See how it says, ‘not fucking ready yet’?” she said while pointing to a helpful scale on the side of her coffee mug that’s used to indicate what level of tolerance the drinker is at.

“So, can you just take it down a notch. Thanks.”

After finishing her coffee and fully waking up, Hannah reached out to The Advocate to discuss the morning’s incident.

“Jesus Christ. I could have killed her this morning”

“No one’s matching her energy, take the hint”

“Jen, and every other morning person, just needs to fucking grow up.”

It’s believed that Hannah isn’t alone in her disdain for morning people, with a recent study done by the Australian Bureau of Statistics revealing that 80% of night owl’s wish morning people would just fucking not.

While it’s inevitable for some people to be morning people, what’s within their control is how annoying they are.

Mr. Woods, the statistician who ran the study, said that morning people can make a choice to be considerate between the hours of 06:00 – 10:00, and that they don’t actually have to be annoying.

“Yes, it’s a choice they can make. Just how they choose to get up and Instagram the sunrise for the 5th morning in a row, they can choose not to shove it in everyone’s face.”

“Guess they’re just pricks.”


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