MARINE DELPHENE | Local News | Contact

A reformed dolphin poacher had a soft-opening for his home bar to mild fanfare overnight at his Betoota Hills residence.

Situated on the ground floor of his recently-built Queenslander-inspired display home, Deverell Slacks told The Advocate that the entire build was centred around the bar and that the whole thing took him nearly 6 weeks from start to finish.

“Basically, I got inspired to make the bar when I found this slab of Jarrah in a local timber yard. The salesman assured me it was some of the cleanest Jarrah he’d ever seen,” said Slacks.

“From there, I drew up a few plans and got a quote. When they is started [sic] to build the house, we quickly had to add the home bar into the plans, which wasn’t easy but ultimately worth the money to redraw the blueprints,”

“So happy with it. The Big Mouth Billy Bass still gets a bucket load of laughs! Take me to the river! Wooo! Drop me in tha wawtar!! [sic]”

However, our reporter only counted three people at the opening, including herself.

While Mr Slacks played bartender for the evening, the only other patron in the venue was another local jetski owner named Gavin Berkmire.

When asked why he’d turned up for the opening, Berkmire said it was because he’s a bad drunk and has been barred from every other venue in town.

“Even the Chinese at the golf club won’t have me,” said Gavin.

“I put one of those yum cha carts on its side one night in fit of rage. Can’t remember, though. Apparently it was bad,”

“Anywho, glad this place just opened. Time to get wankered.”

More to come.


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