ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

As Toploader’s ‘Dancing In The Moonlight‘ softly plays over the PA system, the lift opens and Tim Rowland is blown away by what he sees.

He’s just arrived at one of Sydney’s most exclusive and hip rooftop bars, Autofellatio, which has been open since late November.

“Cool,” he thought to himself.

“I wonder if I’m the first here. Ah, yeah. It looks like I am. Might as well make my way to the bar and get myself a drink!”

As it was 4 pm on a Tuesday afternoon, the 34-year-old advertising executive had no trouble negotiating deep lines for drinks – he even had time to peruse the wine list.

“Hey bud, can I grab a frosty Pure Blonde there? Cheers.”

Tim let his head bob to the intoxicating music while he felt a wave of personal self-satisfaction wash over him.

He’d made it. There he was on the coolest rooftop bar in the coolest city in the country, waiting for his coworkers to join him. It was just like the memories he has of visiting New York City, the home of the rooftop bar.

“That’ll be $12, thanks,” said the barman.

“Geez, that’s a bit steep,” Tim thought to himself.

“I might have to transfer some money out of my cryptocurrency savings account later on if this night kicks up a gear.”

He forced a smiling tapping his Visa Debit card against EFTPOS terminal while the apron-wearing barman also forced a smile until the transaction was approved.

Not letting the price of beer on the top of the Chinese-owned building bother him, Tim spotted his colleagues in a corner nook, right under a speaker that was now blaring ‘Juicy‘ by Biggie Smalls for the third time that afternoon.

“Just like New York, hey guys?” said Tim.

“I dunno, man. I’ve never been. Is it good?” said one coworker.

Tim thought long and hard about that question, he studied the pilling on his art director’s $79 Tarocash sportscoat while he pondered.

Remembering the time he passed on the E train and woke up at the Jamaica Centre getting his head kicked in by opportunistic street urchins.

Or when he felt let down by the dollar slice pizza he got from a Time Square takeaway shop.

“Yeah,” he said.

“I think New York is worth going to. It’s way better than this dump, anyway.”

More to come.




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