ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Popular Middle Eastern terror organisation ISIS has taken to social media this morning to put their hand up and claim responsibility for a local derailment at a South Betoota sushi train.

The duty manager of Clancy-son Japanese Canteen and Sushi phoned police just after 10 pm last night to inform them that a tragic derailment had occurred in the restaurant and that he needed the aid of the emergency services.

Police, fire and ambulance crews were dispatched to the premises, where it was established that the sushi train had indeed jumped off its tracks.

“It was horrible,” said a local firefighter.

“There was sushi everywhere. On the tables and floor. It’s quite hard for me to describe,”

“You had to be there. There was like seven of those $5 green plates on the floor and the fancy sushi was just ruined. I vomited on myself in sheer horror.”

The scene was later contained and those injured were rushed to a nearby GP’s office for treatment.

A short time later, ISIS posted on their Facebook page that the derailment was their doing and that they’ll do it again as a long as Western militaries continue to bombard and occupy land in the Middle East.

“Fuck got you fuckheads,” wrote ISIS.

“Fucking got you good. Hope you like floor sushi you stupid Betoota fucks. Gronks,”

“Stop bombing us and we’ll stop derailing sushi trains.”

More to come.


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