ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Though many Australians refuse to admit it, millions of everyday people have admitted today that they feel sorry for English cricketer Stuart Broad.

Aside from a five-wicket haul in Melbourne, the nation’s most European city, the 31-year-old has not had much luck with the Kookaburra.

But as every Australian enjoys seeing successful people fail spectacularly, Broad has captured a unique sense of melancholy with people as he’s staring down the barrel of a horror series end in Sydney this weekend.

Speaking to The Advocate a short moment ago via wireless telephone, Gregory Marshall of Grosse Point in East Betoota, said he does feel bad for Stuart Broad but stopped short of saying the Australians should take their boot off his throat.

“He’s a great bowler,” he said.

“And he’s got a win-or-die attitude, which most Australians hate but also respect. It was funny in the first three Tests, seeing this floppy-haired prick get carted around the ground by our tailenders even, but as things have progressed, it’s just plain sad right now,”

“I feel for the bloke. It’d be hard to deal with. But in saying that, it’s fucking glorious. It’s hilarious to see English people get beaten in sport. There is simply nothing better. Which makes me think. Can we buy back Eddie Jones now?”

The Advocate reached out to the English Cricket Team on the Twitter for comment but have yet to receive a reply.

More to come.


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