EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A popular dive bar frequented by the town’s punks and metalheads is discovered to display an interesting array of human emotions in the toilets, which is sure to be marvelled by archeologists like caveman paintings, should the building somehow continue to exist in hundreds of years time.

Located in Betoota Ponds, ‘Flynns’ (named after the actor/notorious pervert Errol Flynn) is known for its delicious picklebacks, cheeseburger specials and attractive tattooed bartenders, as well as an array of extremely loud bands, comedy shows and the occasional freak show acts.

Also known as the perfect place for ladies to pick up mullet boys who will no doubt ghost them after a romp, Flynns really is the jewel in the eye of the Betoota Ponds bar scene – and now, a group of Polytechnic psychology students have unearthed some fascinating finds in its toilets.

Speaking to one of the students, Joanie Johnson, The Advocate learns that the toilet doors feature every emotion, or if you’re feeling biblical, every one of the seven sins.

“As you can see here, ‘$2 dollar sucky sucky’ and ‘I want bobs and vagene’, is a clear display of lust”, says Johnson, “whereas ‘fuck the police’ and ‘death to all country fans’, is wrath.”

“But then we have some really interesting finds here”, she says, tracing her finger around some scrawl that simply says ‘SEX POO’, “this one’s a bit harder to dissect.”

Clearing her throat, Johnson says there’s also quite a lot of examples of nihilism.”

“See here?”, she asks, pointing to some slightly ineligible writing, “I didn’t ask to be born.”

“But there’s some words of encouragement up the top here, which nicely balances it all.”

“It’s really quite fascinating.”

More to come.


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