Cash registers at Bunnings stores have been pinging off the charts this morning as Australian Dads prepare for their Taylor Swift moment.

In scenes reminiscent of when Bunnings first started to sell pet supplies, it’s reported long queues had already formed by sunrise as Foo Fighter fans planned for an excruciatingly long day in the sun.

With a nasty heat wave searing into Sydney this weekend, it’s expected more than 80,000 fans of Triple M friendly dad rock will get absolutely torched as they descend on the hottest suburb on earth, Sydney Olympic Park, which completely cooks in the heat because every
inch of surface is covered in concrete.

Speaking to the head of workwear and apparel sales, John “Johnny” Park, it’s understood the big green shed has completely sold out of Bunnings straw hats, or the Landscaper’s Akubra, as it’s known in the Diamantina.

“According to our inventory we’ve completely sold out, there’s not a single checkout bay along the east coast that has any straw hats hanging near the empty cardboard box bin,” Johnny told The Advocate.

“It’s almost as bad as that Splendour year when no store north of Taree had a gumboot on its shelf.”

With the UV index predicted to reach an extreme 11, Johnny said anyone heading out to Accor Stadium without any sun protection was simply a silly sausage, about to sizzle on the Olympic Park hotplate like a cheap tube of meat.

“Older Foo Fighter fans are smart, I’m certain they’ll zinc up like a dad mustering kids at nippers,” Johnny told our reporter.

“And once Dave Grohl starts the opening riff to ‘All My Life’ I’m sure most hats will get shredded to pieces anyway, they don’t last everlong, the floor of Accor will probably resemble the stables at the Tamworth Equine Equestrian centre after the show.”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here