The Moore family of 15B Muru Avenue, Betoota have been advised to end their after routine begin immediately assisting father Wayne Moore (43) in his increasingly urgent search to find his keys.

“It’s mental here right now,” eldest son Julian Moore (16) said in an earlier statement. “I was just playing COD, next thing you know, we’re tearing the house apart looking for them.”

At this stage, it is unclear as to even the general location of the keys with the search expanding to the bathroom, children’s bedrooms and as stated by an unconfirmed source, the garage.

In regards to their whereabouts, Wayne Moore offered the statement:

“I don’t know where they are that’s why I’m bloody looking! Now could you get off your ass and help me for once? Thank you.”

Since this story began unfolding, it has been revealed that not all supportive of the patriarch’s request for thankless assistance in a situation of his doing. Most notably middle child Jessica (15).

“I can’t right now, I’ve got an assignment I need to finish and I don’t have time. They’re probably under all the takeaway menus anyway, that’s where they always are.”

“Yeah right,” Wayne was quoted as saying, “we’ve been telling her to get a start on that assignment for weeks and she hasn’t, but now that her dad needs her for something she suddenly cares about school. My keys are probably in her messy bedroom. She’ll be the end of me that one.”


The situation has been downgraded with mum Lucinda Moore (43) finding Wayne’s keys beneath the takeaway menus. Wayne is now accusing his family members of finding the keys in their room and hiding them beneath the menus to avoid a talking to


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