Marginally skilled white-collar worker Kylie Morely can’t seem to land himself a job.

The down on her luck graduate says she’s spent a solid two months looking for a communications role but has had trouble finding the right fit.

Revealing a desire for a low stress entry level role with a $70K salary, Kylie reckons she’s not asking too much for someone who got a 6 point GPA.

“It used to be you’d have to be good at one thing”, says Kylie, who’s not really old enough to know what it ‘used to be like.’

“It’s not enough now to know your way around a laptop”

“Every role I’ve found wants you to be an expert on everything” “

Know social media AND be a good writer? Good luck finding that.”

“What’s the point of doing a degree if you can’t get a high paying job straight away?”

After another day spent mindlessly scrolling through Indeed.com, Kylie found a job ad that looked very promising.

Based only ten minutes from her home, the role required a recent graduate who ‘knew their way around the G Suite.’

“I got really excited. It had a solid list of dot points but everything was stuff I could do.”

“Even the salary was perfect.”

Unfortunately for Kylie, whoever posted the ad thought it’d be best to leave the trickiest bit to last.

Easily lost in the sea of useless information such as ‘added perks include a ping pong table’, the line suggested that applicants not fluent in Mandarin or Cantonese need not apply.

“Well”, says Kylie, blinking in disbelief.

“That seemed a little left field.”

“Thought it was bad enough when a desk job somehow requires a driving license.”


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