Local dad, Choc Liston (57) has today made it clear that he’s willing to do whatever is necessary to protect himself from the wrath of his wife, Gabby.

After allegedly quitting cigarettes a couple years ago, Choc’s second-oldest, Rory, has caught the old back out the back of the family home hoeing into a lungbuster,

“Busted!” yelled the 16-year-old Rory, taking full advantage of one of those rare opportunities where it’s not him that’s in shit.

“Back on the smokes aye big fella?!”

Choc, while both startled and furious at being caught, is quick to compose himself.

“Oi” he says.

“Come ‘ere”

Rory, unsure whether his dad is about to clip his ear for carrying on, or give him a cigarette to have himself, slowly makes his way over.

“Don’t you fucken tell your mother” says the old man.

Rory, who is in peak smart-arse mode as a dimwitted year 11 student, flippantly responds.

“Yeah. Because you’re busted!”

Choc, who is quite visibly seething at the possibility of being held ransom by the runt of his litter, makes an ultimatum.

“You’ll keep your mouth shut if you know what’s good for you”

Rory senses that his dad might have a bit of ammo.

“What… What do you mean?”

Choc begins wheeling the situation back into his control.

“I found the folder on your mothers laptop you little fucking grub”

“You know she uses that for work?”

“You want me to let her know what kind of videos you’ve got saved in ‘Maths Homework’? Does that sound like something you’d like to discuss with your own mother”

Rory, acutely aware of how fucked he is, lowers his head and takes the L.

“Now fuck off you little shit”



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