ERROL PARKER Editor-at-large | Contact

Popular franchise business Jim’s Group has created controversy today by announcing that they’re looking to capitalise on the recent growth in the domestic narcotics market by offering a new mezzanine-level franchise option.

Jim’s Bags, named after the small resealable bags made famous by drug dealers around the world, is the newest franchise offered by Jim’s Group – which is better known for it’s other offerings such as Jim’s Mowing and Jim’s Antennas.

For around $50 000, a prospective franchisee receives a secondhand Subaru, a stolen Glock 17 semi-automatic handgun, 20 grams of uncut Hong Kong-quality cocaine, 35 mobile phones and territory control over their local area.

One South Betoota man has told The Advocate that he’s interested in the new franchise and he spoke to our reporter about some of the apprehensions he has about a possible career move.

“I’m a primary school teacher now, which is great but I’ve always wanted to be my own boss,” said Brett Gourlay, 34.

“But at the same time, I don’t think I have it in me to actually put a gun in someone’s face. I mean, what if the cops catch me doing it? I’ll go to prison. And if someone tougher than me tries to muscle in on my territory? What am I supposed to do? Shoot them? I don’t think so,”

“But I do enjoy doing cocaine. I had it for the first time at my brother’s bucks party on the Gold Coast and I just could not stop talking for hours. One of the strippers was actually about to pay me to shut up and just sit there. So yeah, I’m torn. I haven’t spoken to the wife about it yet, though.”

The Advocate reached out to Jim’s Group for comment but only received a sternly-worded letter from their legal representatives asking us not to publish this article until they broke the news themselves.

As this news organisation is not in the business of pandering to commercial entities, we published it anyway – because the news never sleeps.

More to come.


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