LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A Betoota family have had their world painted red and meaty this week as a classic mafia movie has caused dad to seriously up his spag bowl game.
Known for empowering middle class dads everywhere, mafia movies are known for being classic pieces of cinema, mostly because the aforementioned dads say so and will absolutely lose their shit if you disagree with them.
Recently, Betoota Heights dad Tony Tognelli (62) found himself watching mafia classic Pauley’s Portrait (1982) starring Al Pacino as the titular mobster who finds himself to be a powerful figure in both the crime and art worlds when his paintings that recreate his crimes start selling for big money.
Like all mafia movies, Pauley’s Portrait features several scenes of people sitting down for a helluva feast where jokes are shared at each other’s expense and authentic Italian-American cuisine is enjoyed by all.
Predictably, as the end credits of the film played, Tognelli stood up to clap before making his way to the kitchen to fire up ‘his’ authentic Italian cuisine.
“Just like they do it in Sicily,” stated Tognelli as he begun grating zucchini and doing what he insisted was a New York accent.
“Wha? Whaddya mean you don’t want no stinking zucchini in ya damn spaghetti? What’s gotten in ta ya ya no good sausage sauce?”
Making enough spag bowl to feed all of Italy, Tognelli began talking about his Sicilian mafia roots, only to be called out by his daughter Diana (17) who reminded him his family was from the north which is also where ragu ala bolognese is actually from.
“And mafia movies aren’t even that good dad! All they do is just appeal to the male fantasy. They’re just sexist! Seriously, watch White Lotus season two, they explain it really well.”