ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A senior Betoota Grove couple has spent this past week keeping their fluids up because they’re about to board the Pacific Pearl, a popular cruise ship in the South Pacific.

Glenda and Colin Masseman have told The Advocate this afternoon that they look forward to experiencing everything the ‘cruise life’ brings, including a shocking bout of gastro.

The sexagenarian Cancerians have also expressed interest in seeing Fiji.

“We hope the experience of having gastro together will allow us to grow closer as a couple,” they said.

“Watching your partner shit their brains out while they softly cry and moan with your own eyes is very confronting. Raw humanity. we simply cannot wait,”

“Hopefully we’ll also get to see and experience some culture on our holiday as well.”

However, it’s not the first time Colin will run afoul with a cruise ship.

In 1978, he was banned from P&O Cruiselines for the rest of his natural life for public defecation and attempted piracy.

A misunderstanding, according to the plastic bedsheet owner.

“Part of this holiday is to put that part of myself out to pasture,” he said.

“Like that Stevie Nicks song, Wild Heart, or something like that. You know, la la la blame it on muh wild heart! Sha na na na, you know the song. Here, I’ll get it up on my phone.”

“Ah, I can’t seem to do it. But yeah, you know what I mean. This cruise will be quite cathartic for me.”

Glenda nods in agreement.

“Yes, it will be nice to get away from this stinking desert for a week or two,” she said.

“But if we don’t get to experience gastro, which every cruise ship passenger seems to these days, I won’t be that disappointed,”

“I want to see that vine bungee jumping they do in Vanuatu. So brave but also quite irresponsible.”

More to come.




Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here