As any young man from a regional town with a high unemployment rate ought to do, Trevor Cantor (35) got a Southern Cross tattoo as a teenager.

Much like the cement works, Cantor has left his hometown years ago and has become much more leftwing ever since he paid someone else to make a coffee for him.

“My uncles were always going on about ‘latte sippers’ and I thought it was a crock of shit but I’ll be damned if that first sip didn’t turn me into a major leftie,” stated Cantor as he fixed his broken bike chain in front of his carbon neutral terrace house in Betoota’s French Quarter.

“I have seriously regretted this tatt ever since.”

Realising expensive tattoo removal was not an option, Cantor has picked up a pair of speedos and is now ready to begin his new life as a Brazilian.

“You fellas know where I can buy a volleyball? And something called farofa?” 

As a southern hemisphere nation with the southern cross on their flag, gold & green national teams and a love for BBQing, it would be easy for visitors to our planet to mistake Australians for Brazilians, a misconception Cantor is hoping humans will make too.

Although the change from Australian to Brazilian will be a major lifestyle change for Trevor Cantor (now styling himself as Trevro Cantos) he states he would much rather be mistaken for a foreigner than a racist.

“Getting a tan then I’m doing some DuoLingo. So far the only Portuguese I know is Oporto.”


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