ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Back in Sheila Corgan’s day, men were men and women were women.

That’s a personal mantra she’s lived by her whole life and the 66-year-old semi-retired seamstress isn’t about to make any changes.

A native of West Betoota’s infamous Gorden Estate, Corgan says that today’s generation is softer than a microwaved mango and wouldn’t last a second back in the good old days.

“You’re god-damn right I got flogged as a kid. One little bit of cheek we gave to our parents, we were smacked until our bums were raw,” said Sheila, enjoying a naughty inside cigarette.

“And we didn’t have any seatbelts in our cars, either. Teachers could beat you about the ear or give you the cane. Look how we turned out? Just fine thank you very much,”

“Fell off my bike plenty of times, been switched off by the pavement. I’ve even seized a few times from concussion. Nothing. People are made of glass these days.”

However, The Advocate can reveal that out of Ms Corgan’s original cohort at West Betoota Polytechnic College, over half of them have died from circumstances that can be circumvented by modern medicine and technology.

“Greg Powell,” she said.

“Greg Powell got polio and died in the iron lung. Another one, Myles Greenholm, he was eating a quiche behind the wheel and ran into a gum tree on Blackall Road and died instantly, covered in quiche,”

“Sam Caldwell, he went mad from lead paint and the cops shot him. Brett Morrison got typhoid from drinking out of a tap and died a week later. They were all weak townies, but.”

More to come.


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