Is your fine establishment in financial trouble? 

Will you never make enough money to do those much needed renovations you’ve always dreamed of?

If you’re a publican who nodded ‘yes’, then I’m not surprised. The post-Covid economy makes it impossible for our country’s fine establishments to turn a profit these days. 

The psychological impact of lockdowns sees half the population still too scared to go out their front door let alone into a fine establishment, especially if they’re from Melbourne.

Then you’ve got the government turning up the pressure by raising the beer tax to the point where even the most dogmatic of alcoholics are questioning whether they can afford to be a salty barfly much longer.

When the writing is on the wall like it is for many publicans, it can seem like there is no hope, no way out of the hole you’re in.

No legal way, at least.

That’s because there isn’t. As a publican of a fine establishment, the only way to revamp and get out of financial trouble is by thinking outside the box. 

And by ‘box’ I mean the ‘law’.

What I’m saying is that if you want to solve all of your financial troubles and renovate affordably, you have to set fire to your fine establishment for insurance purposes.

Now, if you’re a publican you’ve probably heard the old industry adage that ‘every fine establishment has one good fire in them.’ 

This is 100 per cent true. You only get one shot at this. And while striking a match and starting a fire is easy, making it look like it was an accident is not.

So plan effectively. Before you leave that gas stove on overnight, you’ve got to ask yourself, what would a forensic investigator be looking for in a suspect fire? 

If you’ve doused your entire front bar with highly flammable alcoholic spirits, make sure you’ve turned your CCTV cameras off before you do that.

I know these things sound basic but you’d be shocked at how often a tired and demoralised publican will make these simple mistakes.

The point is the devil is in the detail. Once you’ve done it, though, start smiling. You’ll be able to rebuild with the insurance money and give your fine establishment the brand new start it deserves.


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