Local RSL Refuses To Relocate Open-Air Toilet From Pokies Room

28 April, 2016 18:15

MERV HARRIS | Culture | CONTACT

There are reports this afternoon from the Betoota RSL that the open-air toilets in the club’s pokie room is housing a smell that would bring a tear to the eye of even the most hardened veteran.

Pokie Room attendant and former glassie, Andrew Oldham, said that patrons will simply have to deal with the stench until the industrial strength air-circulation system takes effect.

“There’s nothing we can do, some poor bastard has just about given birth in there by the smell of it, good luck to him” Mr Oldham said.

“We sometimes get this shit on Sundays after someone’s had a monster Saturday night on the rums, but not usually mid-week. I guess it might’ve been one the young fellas after ANZAC Day.”

Local compo recipient and mad-keen pokie nut Joel Henderson was less accommodating

“It fucking stinks! Smells like it was fucking fermenting in someone for a few days, I’m not going near that corner of the room for a few hours” he said before going back to Where’s The Gold.

The Betoota RSL has previously made headlines for the lengths taken by the club to ‘convenience’ local pokie users, with several health and safety groups criticising the instalment of a unisex, open-air toilet in the air-conditioned, smoking section of the poker machine room.

Several metres from the now-clogged toilet sits a coffee table that also provides complimentary hot beverages and a dish of Arnott’s Assorted Creams.

General Manager Peter Seeney said they may need to re-paint the room if the smell wasn’t able to be cleared fully.

“Walking in there it’s like someone’s done a shit on your head – it’s fucking pungent. The stink is so strong, it’s broken the air-freshener we had in there. I strongly suggest anyone needing a wee holds their breath as long as possible if they have to go near there.” Mr Seeney said.

“Heaven forbid we need to move the fucking thing. It’s a great service to our patrons.”

The RSL has rented a de-humidifier, two industrial fans, and a gurney to help clear the smell as fast as possible. However, not all the punters were convinced.

“That fucking smell’s ‘gunna outlast religion” said veteran and RSL regular Jason Tibbits.

“I’m pissing in the Bistro toilets from now on”.