ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Moments after the Prime Minister and the Minister for Energy And Environment, Josh Frydenberg, hosted a press conference in Canberra this morning, Malcolm Turnbull was seen doing cartwheels down Parliament Hill while Tony Abbott and Peter Dutton looked on.
“Do a somersault this time!” yelled Dutton as a breathless Prime Minister trudged back up the hill.
Earlier this year, fencing was installed at the bottom of the hill to stop people from walking over Australia’s highest temple – but it’s still largely within view from the bottom.
“Ok. Is there anything else you want me to do?” asked Turnbull.
Abbott laughed and said no.
All of a sudden, Scott Morrison came bounding out from the fire escape door and said Barnaby had a good idea.
“Hey Malcolm!” said Morrison.
“Go down the hill in your kayak! The Nats are carrying it up the stairs now.”
The Prime Minister sighed and agreed.
“Ok.”
With a great echoing, earth-shattering clunk, the kayak appear atop Parliament Hill from the fire escape door.
Barnaby Joyce, with his tie tangling loosely around his second button, dragged it over to the edge of the hill and threw the Prime Minister’s own carbon-fibre oar at him.
“There you go, mate.”
As our nation’s leader tucked himself into the kayak and prepared himself for what could be the wildest ride of his life, he turned and looked up at the God Squad holding the country to ransom and said:
“If I do this, you’re got to let me take the party to the next election.”
Morrison, Dutton and Barnaby laughed.
“We know we’re fucked but you’re the dickhead about to go down a hill in a fucking canoe!” said Joyce.
More to come.
